Helping Someone Cope With Pet Loss

• Provide the opportunity to talk about feelings and concerns before, during and after a loss. Let them tell “their story” as many times as they need to.
• Share and reminisce about fond memories of the pet. Share stories about what you remember about their pet.
• Use the pet’s name…even after death.
• Provide a hug, a squeeze of the hand, or touch on the shoulder-whatever you feel comfortable doing.
• Listen more than talk. Listen in a non-judgmental manner. Allow periods of silence.
• Know that depression and anger are normal emotions and expressions of grief. Be accepting and patient. Do not take a grieving person’s negative attitudes or unusual behaviors personally. Give them a lot of room for reacting badly and not doing things “better.” Tell them that there is no right or wrong behavior for grieving. Everyone is different.
• Reflect on the feelings they are expressing and help them explore them and the reality of the death. Know that they may have emotional set backs. Know that they will always grieve the loss but will learn to live with it.
• Say, “There’s nothing I can say right now to make you feel better. I wish I could. I want you to know that I am here for you.” Mean what you say. Let them know you are there for them. Be there for them in the days as well as weeks, months, and years following the death. Ask them how they are doing.
• Cry with them if it feels natural to you.
• Help them celebrate the life of the one they have lost. Offer suggestions to help them through their grief: give them ideas for ways to memorialize their pet. Help those who are in the process of grieving to develop the rituals they need to get through those early difficult times: light a candle each day, display photos, clay paw print, fur clipping, write a love note to the pet, plant a flower garden, make a garden stone mosaic, keep the pet’s tags on their keychain, keep a journal, make a photo album.
• Send a condolence note with personal comments about the pet and how he or she will be missed.
• Send flowers, a thoughtful gift, or just give them a text/phone call. Let them know you are thinking of them.
• Send a donation in the deceased pet’s name to an organization that benefits animals.